on being profound

for people who don't know me too well, or see me in my 'thinking' stages, i am often quiet, and seem relatively deep in thought. and when people ask me what i'm thinking about - i usually reply with 'nothing'... because more times than not, i'm not thinking about anything that i feel is profound or is worth saying.

not to mention, even if it was, i don't have the eloquence to verbalize and articulate what i might be thinking, because my mind works a heck of a lot faster than can be translated into words.

but i realized something today. it's not about profoundness. you may read my blog or my tweets and be like - DUH! most things i learn or realize are not new, startling discoveries. they don't really bring new perspective on things in general.

but for ME it's growth. it's movement. when i'm deep in thought, i am trying to figure something out. i'm waiting. waiting for the sudden AHA! feeling when some concept finally clicks in your mind.

It's like when a puzzle piece fits - actually FITS; none of that forcing it to fit because it look like it should. there's a sudden shift in your mentality, that allows that piece just to slide smoothly and conjoin with another piece. Anyone else could've seen why those pieces go together, but it's not until you feel the pieces 'click' into place that you yourself realize... and actually understand.

when i'm deep in thought, i don't try and make a breakthrough for humanity - i am trying to make a breakthrough for ME. hey, if my breakthrough HELPS humanity (or a friend) then all the better, but that's not the point of trying to think out an idea, it's not the point of blogging, journaling. the point is to help me get from where i am *down here*, to a different place *slightly above down here*. it's not always about big leaps. sometimes it's about those baby steps.