I've been working as a nurse for about 2.5 months now. It's hard to believe how fast time has flown. On the contrary with all the little things I've been learning everyday I wonder if I will ever excel at my job.
But today was a proud moment for me. I've definitely had days in the past 2.5 months where I've felt inferior and sometimes downright stupid. But today, I took initiative, I worked on my own, I advocated for my patients, I planned, I consulted. Annnnd I ran my first flu clinic... Which doubled in numbers compared to last years flu clinic!
To say I was estatic is an understatement. I'm sure I will continue to have those bad days. But it's these good days that reminds me it's okay to make mistakes and not be super awesome at all times. Sometimes it takes a little bit of work and effort and time, but it does pay off in the end.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Saturday, November 05, 2011
i often wonder if i'm going to make it through. i wonder if i'm strong enough, ponder if all i am is a creation of my own consequences. Whether through all the mistakes i've dug myself into a hole i cannot crawl out of.
but i am determined to show that what you've sunk your love and care into was not in vain. that i can do it. i can face my demons and discover that - hey, yes i messed up. and yes i'm damaged. but that's okay, i don't need to punish myself anymore for it.
i can wake up and be free of this pain that others have caused me, and finally... finally rise above it all.
letting go doesn't mean forgetting. it means looking at these things that have had a grip on me and saying - "you don't have a hold anymore. i am free." It doesn't mean things don't still hurt, but that they don't hurt me enough to cripple me. it means me taking my life back and looking forward to the next day, not living in constant fear of what tomorrow brings.
now it's time to go, curtains finally closing. that was quite a show, very entertaining. but it's over now. go on, take a bow.
but i am determined to show that what you've sunk your love and care into was not in vain. that i can do it. i can face my demons and discover that - hey, yes i messed up. and yes i'm damaged. but that's okay, i don't need to punish myself anymore for it.
i can wake up and be free of this pain that others have caused me, and finally... finally rise above it all.
letting go doesn't mean forgetting. it means looking at these things that have had a grip on me and saying - "you don't have a hold anymore. i am free." It doesn't mean things don't still hurt, but that they don't hurt me enough to cripple me. it means me taking my life back and looking forward to the next day, not living in constant fear of what tomorrow brings.
now it's time to go, curtains finally closing. that was quite a show, very entertaining. but it's over now. go on, take a bow.
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