I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving 
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here 
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

it's very difficult living a life of complacency.
that seems like a very contradictory statement, since the concept of complacency is being lazy, and so how can being lazy be tiring, be difficult, be frustrating?

because though at certain times, you feel like there's not a care in the world, it's when life suddenly smacks you in the face do you realize how far behind you are, and there is very little hope of catching up.

it sucks living a life where i feel like such an underachiever. what happened? i had such big dreams, wanted to do such BIG things, and i feel like i'm stuck inside this rut... and i'm dying to get out, but i'm afraid that i can't shake the laziness that i've gotten so accustomed to these past few years.

it's especially frustrating when you know that there are certain things that IF ONLY you do them... IF ONLY you DID them... you would've gotten so much further.

it just feels like one of those days where the world is winning 1st place ribbons and all i get is a white participant one.