break

sometimes its just necessary to take a break from things and just... set aside the things that you worry about, that you need to do, that you just can't stop thinking about.

for me, i think i find it very difficult to find a "break". i can never seem to grasp the concept of letting go of something. The thought is constantly plaguing my mind, and its as if there's nothing i can do about it, except wallow until finally the pervasive thought leaves my mind (which is usually not for a long time)

but oddly, yesterday when i think this 'break' was necessary, it came... easily.

sports have often been my release. Whether it was rugby in high school, hockey earlier in my university career, or softball this summer... it has always been a time where i can take my frustrations out on an item and not physically cause [too much] damage to another human being.

This summer, softball has been a Godsend. it allowed me much time away from my lonely apartment to spend weekends with many familiar faces. It helped remind me that i was not old enough to learn a new sport, and continue to improve in it... it allowed me to meet new friends and see old ones that i haven't seen for a long time...

and last night, spending one last night with this group of people reminded me that God didn't leave me "high and dry" with no way to exert my frustrations. That for me, there WAS escape, even when i didn't realize it. That there was always a way of letting things go..... just like in most sports... you screw up one play... you can't let that one play screw up the whole game. Sure, you miss a popfly... but so what? catch the next one (and make it look good)
you have to let GO of things... and you can't think short term.... you can't give in to one thing that could potentially ruin your entire game.

as i stare out my window i continue to wonder where this term has gone... and why i didn't enjoy some things, like softball as much as i should've :)

funny... lately things have been going a bit crazy ever since i stopped playing softball... the whole beginning of the summer was so relaxing and chill... then once the season ended chaos ensued.
maybe its a sign that i need to quit school and go into sports full time or something... for the sake of my sanity